Saturday, May 20, 2006
Cowboy Ciaran
You know, yesterday, or rather last evening and this morning, I was at our student uninion, dressed up as a cowboy no less. A cowboy!
Now, a friend of mine, Ciaran, obviously off his face on alcohol (bless his soul!), came over to me in his cowboy costume (inferior to mine of course) and said that he was "offended" that he wasn't in my blog. My first thought was, "Sweet lord, he's off his face." This thought was shortly followed by "Jesus! He's had plenty to drink". Thoughts along these lines continued for several more seconds before a new thought popped up: "Cowboys are really a bunch of wankers!".
Now OK, I may be a bit biased here. The only "cowboys" I've ever met are stupid fat men who spend all their time talking about tractors, and going "Nuuuuuuun!" in a stupid impression of a tractor engine, all the while talking about which is best, a Massey Ferguson or a Same (pronounced "Sammy" for some reason).
So it got me thinking, why not put cowboy's to real use? Surely robots could carry out their jobs for half the effort and half the price? You know, give the subsidy money to more deserving causes. Meanwhile, these macho cowboy people can be used in a much more profitable way. To generate electricty!
Cowboys love nothing more than to show off their "bulging muscle", which usually is just fat that they've surgically duct taped into the shape of muscle. Infact, they love to show it off to equally stupid "cowgirls". So what you do is, you hang all the cowgirls from a wire thread tied to a crane at the end of a series of long conveyor belts. You then place all the cowboys on the conveyor belts. The cowboys, seeing the cowgirls, will attempt to run towards to the cowgirls, oblivious to the fact that they will never reach the cowgirls. This will continue for lengthy periods of time, creating vast amounts of clean (if you minus hairy, sweaty cowbastards), renewable energy!
See, the Green Parties go wild! The economists cheer because it's a free source of electricty, and the rest of the populous cheer to get rid of such a disgusting subspecies of the human race.
So Ciaran, you've inspired me to go on a neverending quest to put cowboys to real use, congratulations!
Now, a friend of mine, Ciaran, obviously off his face on alcohol (bless his soul!), came over to me in his cowboy costume (inferior to mine of course) and said that he was "offended" that he wasn't in my blog. My first thought was, "Sweet lord, he's off his face." This thought was shortly followed by "Jesus! He's had plenty to drink". Thoughts along these lines continued for several more seconds before a new thought popped up: "Cowboys are really a bunch of wankers!".
Now OK, I may be a bit biased here. The only "cowboys" I've ever met are stupid fat men who spend all their time talking about tractors, and going "Nuuuuuuun!" in a stupid impression of a tractor engine, all the while talking about which is best, a Massey Ferguson or a Same (pronounced "Sammy" for some reason).
So it got me thinking, why not put cowboy's to real use? Surely robots could carry out their jobs for half the effort and half the price? You know, give the subsidy money to more deserving causes. Meanwhile, these macho cowboy people can be used in a much more profitable way. To generate electricty!
Cowboys love nothing more than to show off their "bulging muscle", which usually is just fat that they've surgically duct taped into the shape of muscle. Infact, they love to show it off to equally stupid "cowgirls". So what you do is, you hang all the cowgirls from a wire thread tied to a crane at the end of a series of long conveyor belts. You then place all the cowboys on the conveyor belts. The cowboys, seeing the cowgirls, will attempt to run towards to the cowgirls, oblivious to the fact that they will never reach the cowgirls. This will continue for lengthy periods of time, creating vast amounts of clean (if you minus hairy, sweaty cowbastards), renewable energy!
See, the Green Parties go wild! The economists cheer because it's a free source of electricty, and the rest of the populous cheer to get rid of such a disgusting subspecies of the human race.
So Ciaran, you've inspired me to go on a neverending quest to put cowboys to real use, congratulations!
Andrew, 6:43 PM
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