Monday, December 04, 2006
Imagine everyone had unfortunate names
You know, although I haven't updated this blog in a long while, I do have an excuse. An excuse that I'm not going to tell you because I don't respect the intelligence of my readers, but an excuse none-the-less.
However, something drove me to update this fanciful blog today. It's all based off that radiation poisoning of the ex-KGB Russian agent, Libbydubby or Litsudenaa or Litvenkopoo or whatever the hell his name is, or rather, the Italian buddy he met at that sushi bar before he died.
The guy in question has enough faults as it is. He was alledgedly poisoned, and he's Italian, so altogether an unfortunate bloke. However, what's more unfortunate is his name. His name dear readers. You know what his name is. It's Gaidar. Gaidar. A sorry sounding name for a sorry sounding person. However, it got me thinking. I have a friend called Terran. Not an unfortunate one, but a weird one none-the-less. What would be more unfortunate would be if he was called "Peniscrusher", as that would be an unfortunate and thoroughly stupid name.
Mind you, we hear that different and "interesting" names will set you up well in life. According to the most thorough and just scientific research by the scientists from that University that you're sure you've-heard-of-but-have-no-idea-where-it-is-and-how-much-you-have-to-pay-to-get-a-doctorate-from, people with weird and wonderful names are more likely to succeed at interviews, get a higher paid job and generally have a successful life. That is if you manage to survive the first 15 years of torment from your schoolfriend because your mother thought she was being original when she called you "Moonraker Baby", as someone, I've heard of, was unfortunately called.
Now you see, if we all had unfortunate names like "Bodecea", "Arsemingledmonkey", "Mieter Binesdirtey", "Dickface" or "G. Bush", everything would be well and fine! As I said earlier, scientific research shows you'll do better in interviews and get more money from your job. Not only this, but the added brilliance is that if everyone has a stupid name, then you'll not have to spend the first 15 years of your life being figuratively hung, drawn and quartered, with your entrails used to strangle your best friend and your pet kitten. You see, once again, I have a wonderful idea.
Now anyone who thinks this is a good idea should sent a SAE to Downing Street telling them of my great policy. And how about sending me money too. I like money and I want to buy stuff at Christmas. Indeed.
However, something drove me to update this fanciful blog today. It's all based off that radiation poisoning of the ex-KGB Russian agent, Libbydubby or Litsudenaa or Litvenkopoo or whatever the hell his name is, or rather, the Italian buddy he met at that sushi bar before he died.
The guy in question has enough faults as it is. He was alledgedly poisoned, and he's Italian, so altogether an unfortunate bloke. However, what's more unfortunate is his name. His name dear readers. You know what his name is. It's Gaidar. Gaidar. A sorry sounding name for a sorry sounding person. However, it got me thinking. I have a friend called Terran. Not an unfortunate one, but a weird one none-the-less. What would be more unfortunate would be if he was called "Peniscrusher", as that would be an unfortunate and thoroughly stupid name.
Mind you, we hear that different and "interesting" names will set you up well in life. According to the most thorough and just scientific research by the scientists from that University that you're sure you've-heard-of-but-have-no-idea-where-it-is-and-how-much-you-have-to-pay-to-get-a-doctorate-from, people with weird and wonderful names are more likely to succeed at interviews, get a higher paid job and generally have a successful life. That is if you manage to survive the first 15 years of torment from your schoolfriend because your mother thought she was being original when she called you "Moonraker Baby", as someone, I've heard of, was unfortunately called.
Now you see, if we all had unfortunate names like "Bodecea", "Arsemingledmonkey", "Mieter Binesdirtey", "Dickface" or "G. Bush", everything would be well and fine! As I said earlier, scientific research shows you'll do better in interviews and get more money from your job. Not only this, but the added brilliance is that if everyone has a stupid name, then you'll not have to spend the first 15 years of your life being figuratively hung, drawn and quartered, with your entrails used to strangle your best friend and your pet kitten. You see, once again, I have a wonderful idea.
Now anyone who thinks this is a good idea should sent a SAE to Downing Street telling them of my great policy. And how about sending me money too. I like money and I want to buy stuff at Christmas. Indeed.
Andrew, 12:27 PM
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