Andrew's Ridiculously Stupid Ideas
From mildy ridiculous to disgustingly ridiculous

A filthy lie assignment for The Alliance

Now, some of you, with nothing better to do in your life, spend all weekend at a computer screen. Which is of course, rather unfortuanate. Now, there are a few exceptions to this. Authors, lawyers and bloggers. These people are allowed to sit at their computers all weekend and not be classified as saddos.

Now take Evil Glenn, being the evil, molesting, sweatshop owning, author/laywer/blogger that he is, well he should be allowed to sit infront of his computer. However, lies information coming from Alliance HQ suggests that, although he has been sitting infront of his computer all weekend, he has been doing none of the acceptable computer marathon tasks.

So the question arises? What has he been doing?

It's quite simple really. He is inventing a device that will be implanted in the minds of all things, living and dead, gasesous and solid and even the things cursed with the double combination of being old and ugly. This device is a chip, (a microprocessor, not a fried potato) that will be installed in one of any orfices present in the human body (I'm sure you can guess Evil Glenn's favourite orfice. Yep you got it, the nostril it is. Have you ever wondered why his finger his constantly covered in a flaky yellow substance?), which, in turn, will make them into demonic soldiers to add to his army of beaurocrats, whose role is to shit on the little guy make his life easier. They will praise his works as "masterpieces" and "enlightenment of the human species" rather than the fungal algae you get in toilets inadequately accepted tosh he fires out now.

Now how does this work? Being an inventor (of sorts), I have some cunning ideas.

These chips are not actually chips. They are infact highly intelligent pieces of toilet algal fungae. These, upon entering an orfice of the body, are promptly abosrbed into the bloodstream. They go to the brain, to analyse it, before putting it on the "Toilet algal funage" real estate market. When interest is shown (as it invariably is), they build a huge building in your brain (huge by their standards), usually constructed out toilet paper, toothpaste and ear-bud sticks. The process damages the brain beyond all repair, and thus makes the demonic zombies think that Evil Glenn's work is actually good.

So if you find yourself starting to like the works of the Evil Glenn, instantly contact me, so I can invent a brain replacement device to promptly replace your brain to return you to normal.